Monday, August 15, 2011

To The Very End

Still a flower

The tree that once flaunted you
has decided to let you go,

spiral and twirl
a first and last dance,


towards the heap
of skeletal leaves
and half chewed guavas
lying in compose.

A breeze comes to carry you away,

becomes bored
preferring to sustain
a circling hawk.

Finally you touch down,
face on the pavement:
pink and white petals curling
a little off the ground;

still a flower.


Unknown said...

Great poem. Love how you structured this. Still a flower/ Descend/ A breeze comes to carry you away/ Still A flower. The cycle works great and the imagery, especially in the last two stanzas is very nice

Ravenblack said...

Appreciate your comment, Fred, thank you. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Ravenblack. I read this yesterday and liked it very much. The simple element of nature and its life cycle that you portrayed is inspiring in that it sets a tone of peace and that I think is what we hope to feel when we interact in nature. I was truly inspired by your words. Thanks for sharing it.

Ravenblack said...

Hi Cindy. Thanks for your comment. I was walking in the park and saw the flowers on the ground -- they are just pretty to the very end.

dsnake1 said...

i didn't know a flower dropping can be so lovely & touching. :)

i like the images you painted here, and the way the poem is structured. the title, which is also the last line is a nice touch.

Ravenblack said...

Thanks for reading, dsnake. I'm glad you like it. :)

Anonymous said...

Wonderful, crisp images, Raven.
Thanks so much for the extensive and insightful comments you left on my critique post. I'd like you to do a guest post sometime (on Wordsmith Wednesday) on any topic you choose. Is that something that would interest you? Victoria

Ravenblack said...

I'm honored to be asked, Victoria. But I wouldn't even know what topic to write about! :D I still feel like I'm learning the craft, not quite sure if there's anything I can talk about extensively.

And thanks for your comment on my poem.

Anonymous said...

You reach a wonderful state of transcendence with this poem. A compact, pellucid meditation that points the reader to fathoms of depth. The image of the breeze tiring of the flower is pure magic. You use all the power of your great photographic eye to imbue this with the mystery and awe you capture so well in your photos. Thank you!

Ravenblack said...

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it, Anna. :)

Liz Rice-Sosne said...

Ravenblack ... so good to see you. One Raven says to another. I shall still be a good bit gone for a while. Although I realize it is not natural ... Hawk is also my very good friend, so the stanza:

"becomes bored
preferring to sustain
a circling hawk."

Was almost like sustenance for me. The icing upon the cake of your poem. This is a lovely poem ....with a special "lightness of being" about it.

Ravenblack said...

Thank you. I was trying to go for that.

Don't be away too long, Old Raven. I will miss your stories. :)

Anonymous said...

Your words have the same quality of the nature you describe with such poetic detail: beauty.

Hyde Park Poetry Palace said...

you are a wise poet.
your words speak beautiful music.

keep it up.

join us if you could.

Ravenblack said...

Thanks. :) I might on the next round. :)