Sunday, October 2, 2011

Coffee, that's what I need

***


Thirsty Ghost

i'm hungry i'm thirsty
i had my water but i need
something to get through

drifting, existing, invisible, listening in
on conversations strange and familiar

of housing loans, medical bills, raising children
taxes, traffic jams, floods, the latest restructures

a bully talking about how women are always
nagging, an unfaithful wife who can't understand
the lingo of kidsthesedays, a petit girl retreats
afraid she has asked too many questions

the other table has alcohol
the rest are full of vitriol

the things people do for money and 2 square meals
and not forgetting electric bills

the internet is such a threat
are you getting the new ipad
babies should not be playing with them
facebook is the new way of communicating

i need coffee but i can't find any
what kind of restaurant is this
i'm thirsty i'm not hungry anymore


***
 A bit of a rant. I think it's just something I needed to put down to get it out of my system.


**Posted to Poetry Pantry #69 on  Poets United.


**Featured on Wordsmith Wednesday- Snooping. My thanks to Victoria. Do visit her blog (liv2write2day at wordpress) for her poems, her stories, writing prompts and interesting discussions on the writing craft.

17 comments:

Old Raven said...

Ravenblack ... a bit of a rant you say ... I will tell you it was a good rant, totally understood and well put together.

Marian said...

yes, wow. i think i've been there.
to that restaurant, i mean. :)

Andy said...

Hello.
I can relate to your rant. It's ok to rant every now & then if it makes you feel better.

Thanks for sharing.

Thief In The Night

Laura Maria said...

Writing is an excellent way to 'get things out of out of [our] systems'. This flowed nicely and clearly expressed what you were feeling.

Fred said...

Really nicely done. I know you say it's but a rant, but I had this image of a shelter- and perhaps some conversations there- but seating at a diner, I'm imagining all these tables filled and all these conversations going on everywhere- enough to make you need that coffee indeed, but I'd find it interesting- as I 'm always looking for dialogue or nuances to include for characters- Really well done slice of life captured here. By the way- If you have a Keurig- get the pumpkin spice- it's delicious:) Thanks for the read

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Well done, great observations. I could see it all.

darkangelwrites said...

I love rants! True emotion minus the fancy dress.

Ravenblack said...

Old Raven, Marian, Andy, Laura, Fred, Sherry, darkangel: thanks for your comments. :) I'm glad you guys can see it.

It really did happen. I was at a dinner with company I didn't enjoy. I felt like a ghost at one point because that's what happens when one doesnt fit in. It was draining because everything was so fake.

Fred, I'll keep that recommendation in mind.
darkangel, I like what you said. :D

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

I too was absolutely there, got the whole picture. You conveyed it perfectly.

Ravenblack said...

Thank you, Rosemary. :)

chromapoesy.com said...

'drifting, existing, invisible, listening in
on conversations strange and familiar' describes a lot of my life. Trying to communicate but never getting to the interesting parts, alienated yet not alone - or at least that's how I read parts of your poem - familiar but removed. I hope things improve soon; glad I stopped in to see if you'd posted.

Ravenblack said...

Hi Anna, glad you came by. :) I might be running into a bit of dry season in terms of ideas for poems.

Yeah you got it -- alienated yet not alone. I rather be alone, honestly, but it was a function I couldnt get out of. None of the conversations at this table got further than the shallow cliche talk. I guess no one is really interested. It degenerates into complaining about life in general just to stay on the safe side.

johnallenrichter said...

I got the feeling it might have been the conversation at your own table that was lacking a bit, since you were familiar with the cheating wife.... I've been there, people you didn't really plan on being there with, but because they are co-workers trying to make some kind of impression, or a study group from school or a class, (though that's been years for me) or distant relatives after a funeral or wedding, I'm always uncomfortable there... ranting is certainbly a good source of relief, especially when it turns out as well as this piece did....

JamieDedes said...

Well done ... You got it all just right. Here on Victoria's recommendation.

Ravenblack said...

John: yeah actually I don't think I would've felt comfortable at any table really, I didn't want to be there! :D Thanks for the comments.

Jamie: Thanks for the visit and comments. And thanks for letting me know how you got here. :)

Brian Miller said...

ugh...yeah i am not on FB any more so i must not be communicating...talk about convo over load...i would take coffee any day....

Ravenblack said...

Brian: Coffee is good anytime. :) I've learned that FB can be detrimental to friendships. No doubt it is a great tool for keeping in touch but it can be another reason to be annoyed at someone! :)