Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Not usually something that happens in this digital age...

***


Me and the old tv

   me and the old tv waited up for you

   the movie i wanted to watch tonight
with you, had long ended

   i must have fallen asleep
somewhere in the middle

   i have awaken to a world flickering
in b/lack/white and wh(y)/black

make-what-you-wills
buzzing, creating

a picture of us
   in [us] brownian motion
of static [us]

   thoughts and feelings
masked in a long continuous h[ar]sssssssssssssssh...


   i got up from my chair,
   switched the TV off,

   noting how quickly the silence takes over the night

unbearable.


***

I wrote a stream of consciousness piece (belated dVerse prompt) but that was quite horrifying. I came up with this instead.

Posted to dVerse Open Link Night #46. Hope to see you there, fellow wordsmiths. :)

34 comments:

Fred Rutherford said...

no, this was good. I do love a good incomprehensible stream of consciousness piece too though, as you never do know what you're going to get, reader and author alike, which makes them special in my book. But this is good. I love the notion of silence being unbearable. And static, yeah, static haven't seen that in quite some time, ever since the US eliminated all television reception via antenna, everything's digital now, so if a station isn't available it's simply a black or blue screen depending on your provider. While I don't really mis the B & W tv, I do miss some of the sentimentality about it, as even though Color sets were rampant, when I was a kid, B & W is what the small set in my room was. Nice write, brought some things back to mind. Thanks

Ravenblack said...

Sometimes I kinda miss the times when TV was not 24 hours. I don't think the kids today even know what a test pattern is.

My stream of consciousness would just be a very long confusing rant, not fit for consumption. :D

Thanks for your comments, Fred. :)

@ami said...

It's snowing!
;-)
I especially like the last two lines.

{ami}
http://sundrysumthins.wordpress.com/

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

i loved the true word play he[r}e.you [] a creative writer giving your readers visual and audio (describing sound) as they read through your work.

aprille said...

Such a shock to wake up to the scratchy images ad noises. I remember it, just. Actually, waking up to the same commercial for the umpteenth time going by is just as 'orrible :-)
So nice when it all stops after you push the off button.
Good stream, tidied up and all.

Heaven said...

I like the ending result..unbearable silence it is. Nice use of black and white tv ~

Beachanny said...

I think you managed the inner voice quite well here. Clever use of spelling and symbols to enhance the way one notices things and thinks beyond words. I admire that you managed it in a short "take". Mine was very long. Afraid I've read too much James Joyce. The subject was apt to giving us that snapshot of late nights in front of the t.v.

skyraft said...

I thought you captured the effect of a fracturing TV rather well.

And how you linked it with feelings of loneliness. It all works.

Great write.

Brian Miller said...

wow this is tight...love the word play through out...the work play is nice...the b/lack and wh(y)....and the [us]...and th feeling that this generates as well the silence at the end...is felt...

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh, I remember the 'snow' and the hisssssss of no picture on the old TV's.
Really enjoyed this stream of thought too.
Lovely, even in black & white or, no picture too ;)

Hannah said...

Oh, I love the way you play here with wh(y)/black and the h[ar]ssssssssh...very good stream of consciousness. yes, this is a great write..I can't stomach the sound of waking up to a static T.V. ugh. Smiles to you!

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Love the image of the b&w tv - seems like a time long ago - mostly mythical like the relationship portrayed here. Great.

Anna Montgomery said...

The loss is palpable here and your central metaphor works so well. Wonderful wordplay, an emotive and evocative poem.

Joan Barrett Roberts said...

Good imagery here -- using the black/white tv screen -- something echoes through the silence! Company eludes even the tv set -- no one there! Silence at night is felt more somehow!
Thanks!

zongrik said...

nice way to describe how nuts we can make ourselves from worry (OK, i saw it as worry, could be something else?)

spaceship tanka

Ravenblack said...

Thanks everyone for your comments and feedback. :)


Zongrik: It's about a person expecting the late return of a love one, and he or she is just not back yet, and didn't call or anything. I think the narrator begins to think maybe there are problems, the way one sometimes start to doubt one's partner. I guess that's the worry that you see.

Sue Judd said...

Brilliant use of metaphor, and like previous posts I particularly liked the last two lines and the evocation of loneliness.

Tigerbrite said...

Yes, I remember the blackness of the lonely night.

joanna said...

love the wordplay in this, and the feeling you describe: the waiting up, the unbearable-ness..., something you describe all too vividly or that i remember all too keenly. one of the two. :) tight write!

Victoria said...

Brilliant S-o-C poem! I experienced that drowsiness that sometimes happens when you fall asleep in front of TV (or, for me, reading) and then wake up suddenly. Thanks for this.

Claudia said...

awesome word play and this may sound a bit weird but could feel the silence physically after the h(ar)sssssssssshh.... loved it!! and great closure!!

Ravenblack said...

Sue, Tigerbrite, Joanna, Victoria and Claudia: thanks for your visit and comments. :)

Joanne Elliott said...

The noise fills the emptiness until it doesn't.

My mother used to stay up nights until the TV played the National Anthem and then snow or test pattern after my father died. Sad...

manicddaily said...

Just terrific. Really wonderful. I especially like the black and white and Brownian motion. Wonderful. k.

darkangelwrites said...

"noting how quickly the silence takes over the night" love that! Felt that.

Ravenblack said...

Joanne, Karin, Darkangel: thanks for dropping in and glad you enjoyed the poem. :)

ayala said...

Nice write... I remember those days...

Ravenblack said...

Thank you, Ayala :)

Bodhirose said...

Sometimes I take awhile to digest the prompts too and be able to come up with something. I like this stream of consciousness thinking that you w(rote)and the references to lack and static...well done.

Certainly, my daughters never saw a test pattern...

Ravenblack said...

Someday test patterns would be entirely forgotten.

Thanks for coming by, Bodhirose.

Raven said...

I really like this poem. I like it very personal-ness and it detachment. Meaning I find these opposites. Plus it compactness. It makes you think. Ravenblack, I chuckled at your comment about not having 24 hour TV. I grew up without TV. We simply were not allowed to have one in the house.

Ravenblack said...

Thanks for your feedback, Raven.

Not allowed to have a TV. hmm

I can probably live without TV but not without computers/internet, presently.

dsnake1 said...

i liked this very visual poem. time seems to have stood still (or had passed by a great deal) as i visualised the narrator waiting for someone, by your reference to an old tv. and the ending lines are perfect.

Ravenblack said...

Thanks dsnake. :)