The Ego Trap
facts and numbers
have's and have-not's
recited
to impress in a list
displayed
look at me
what i am
i am not
defined by post counts and vague exotic locations
here I am
sometimes I build myself a new shadow
while reality waits outside the login window
on return,
mind stalls,overloaded
by clocks left to wait, too late
for defragmentation; deterioration
spreads to the finger taps.
****
11 comments:
def all too real...i stopped looking at stats after about a year...its more about connections, people...and not the number of them...easy to get your ego twinged online...and there are days i still have to make a self adjustment...well often enough to notice...smiles...
totally the truth here, felt like this myself sometimes, the outside vs. the inside- two completely different universe and yet a trap does seem to exist. Really like the way the piece is organized as well, shows a separation that merges as the piece moves on. Great job. thanks
Thanks guys. Sometimes i wonder at myself when I stall at the computer trying to top someone else by doing these things...:)
I can relate... I especially like:
sometimes I build myself a new shadow
while reality waits outside the login window
Thanks Laurie. Glad that you came by.
Yes, sometimes easy to let ego overtake common sense. Life has its own unique way of reminding us to try to be humble, doesn't it?
Lovely thoughts and imagery.
A broken connection is all it takes -- literally and figuratively speaking... :) Thanks for dropping in, Daydreamer. :)
A lot of good lessons here! It can get pretty crazy--I think bloggers, even with full lives, have an internal loneliness which drives them into this craziness, and can make you really succumb to the deterioration you are talking about.
I should emulate Brian! K.
I deleted my comment because it had way to many mistakes ... we shall try it again now.
Ravenblack ... remember that you are wonderful ... just as you are. And your writing is such a treat to read. I do not call myself a writer. This seems peculiar to many, but for me it is just a manner for expression. I have even wondered "is there something wrong with me"? And I say that to myself because being published has quite simply NEVER been important. You know that I have written a good bit of poetry but none of it sparks me except for my "Poetry of War." And someday if I get around to it before I die ... maybe a chapbook.
Your poem here is of course filled with truth. But don't measure yourself, Brian is right. It is your connections and I am glad for the connection that I have with you.
Thank you for your kind words, Raven elder. I read it all with gratitude. I'm glad that through this blog I've gotten to know you, as well as many of the writers on my bloglist. :)
Getting published is not that important to me now, although I admit I still would like to be. I just write when I feel the urge rather than to force for the sake of presenting something. I just can't work like that. So I certainly dont want to fall into the trap of measuring myself against others, which was what happened before; and which in turn would develop into unfairly judging others, as I have learned, not just in this community but in any internet community of any subject. :)
Thanks again for your visit, Raven.
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