Thursday, April 26, 2012

NaPoWriMo #26: Daily thrillers

Spider vs Ants

I watched a platoon of ants dance
dangerously with a spider:

a game of merry-go-round,
pincer against pincer,

compound eyes against
compound eyes.

The spider rotates,
the ants touch his legs;

on every side he is attacked in turn

turn turn turn

unable to hold his ground,
spider leaps off
           leaving a single thread of web

the ants begin to wonder           wander
unable to comprehend the spider's
                             ( surprise )


they begin to scatter, leaving behind               one ant
whose feelers are caught on the sticky thread 
                                                         of the one spider,

                      at large.


Anonymous said...

i like this, the rhythm reminds me of the ants dance

Anonymous said...

Aha! Great rhythm and story! Ants had better stick together, two legs short! K.

Brian Miller said...

oh that ant is in big the concrete of vertical...made me pause a second and a really nice smooth progression...i like...

Anonymous said...

This is awesome! Love the daily thriller and vertical trailing down the page, just fantastic writing.

Fred Rutherford said...

Nice write Raven. really like the way you really harnessed what projective form can offer a piece. The vertical line is super cool. Thanks

Heaven said...

Nice creative tale...and I like the format of the words...this would make a good children's story book ~

Hope all is well with you ~

Ravenblack said...

Thanks everyone. :)
Appreciated the feedback and comments!

It's been a busy week. Haven't visited as many blogs as I would like to, nor took part in the open links and prompt as I had wanted to. Sometimes I have a hard time deciding how to divide my time and attention. I definitely can't keep this up for much longer than a month!

dsnake1 said...

how can the spider lose?

great write,anyway, :)

Ravenblack said...

Too many ants. :)

I did see this happen btw. :)

Thanks dsnake.