Monday, April 16, 2012

NaPoWriMo #16: What results from a baked brain...



broken clouds hover in scattered formation
casting shadows drift across the cityscape

pedestrians flow in schools of fixed direction
a rainbow of cars beaming metallic sheen

every eye squinting from the white heat
baking brains, bricks and concrete


I thought I'll try writing short poems this week.


Daydreamertoo said...

That is so true, when it's too hot, everything fries, including tempers and brains :)
Nicely said.

Pat Hatt said...

Yeah the rat race sure takes even more of a hit when the heat tends to rise.

dsnake1 said...

bravo! very good write for a baked brain. :D

i liked what you wrote about "pedestrians flow in schools of fixed direction". very spot on.

Fred Rutherford said...

Very nice Raven. Even better seeing it's actually warm again today here too. Love the subtext in the schools of fixed direction. a powerful line for certain. Thanks, nicely done.

Ravenblack said...

Daydreamer, Pat, dsnake, Fred: Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I am a sucker for metalic sheen. I am loving reading you more often. Also, in relation to your thought about short poems: you are entirely smarter than me :)! I may have to be influenced by you (especially since it's OLN and I haven't written my NaPoWriMo poem yet - eek).

Ravenblack said...

I'll skip linking anything up for this round because I'm rather busy at work this week.

OLN has always been tough, because it's in the middle of the workweek. I'll feel bad putting a link and then not being able take time to read other writer's works. I'll probably still hop to some of the new poets I find on there if I got some spare time. :)