Wednesday, April 11, 2012

NaPoWriMo #11: Of the cement mixer and the squirrel


Asthmatic exhaust
arthritic gear-turning
cement mixer

backs up with
lights and sounds
against a tree;

on the other side,
a squirrel clings
on the thick old trunk,

brushy grey tail
black opal eyes
wide and shiny.

When at last it stops,
she leaps off
and runs for the field
of satintails.


*Satintails are a type of grass. In Singapore, we generally refer to them as lalang.

A bit tired after getting home but I managed this. Shall have to continue blog hopping tomorrow as well.


Anonymous said...

You had me holding my breath for the squirrel and so grateful for a happy ending. I love the use of asthmatic and arthritic which gave the cement mixer a unique audible sound and a more menacing presence. Boy I know the come home tired from work and still have poetry to post feeling :).

Victoria said...

Such a blend of urban and nature. A lesson in caring for the environment without the preachiness. Very effective.

Ravenblack said...

Anna: This month long exercise is a push to the limits. It really helps to know there are others alongside oneself doing the same. :)

Victoria: I try just to write what I see, because the scene often tells itself.

Thanks to the both of you for your feedback and comments.

Fred Rutherford said...

really nice job here Raven. Love how you tied the scene, the moment, the observation and reflection in together so nicely. Thanks

Rachel Hoyt said...

Great poem! I'm so glad it had a happy ending as you created a very vivid image which made me root for the squirrel. :)

Ravenblack said...

Thank you both, Fred and Rachel. :) Glad you guys liked it.

dsnake1 said...

great imagery!

i can relate to this, i feel like that squirrel. there is a heavy construction activity going on at a site next to my workplace, and there are always cement mixers going in and out, and yeah, one has to really look out for them.

i really like your description of them as "asthmatic" and "arthritic". spot on!

Ravenblack said...

I think it's how the metallic sounds and associated smells make me feel too. Thanks dsnake!

000 april said...

I'm with the squirrel: those horrible sounds petrify me.Nicely described. I love little scenes like this. Colourful beads in the monthly string of pearls.