Sunday, April 1, 2012

NaPoWriMo 1 : zipping through the flowers

 
Wasp


Yellow pollen
sprinkled all over,
disposition
matching the sunny day.

A halo hovering above
a bed of rain lilies
that bloom post monsoon.

Around, and back
             around
round          round
            round
and suddenly

stop

to face an open flower
                then face away
and again faces the flower --
this is its dance,

its joy in being alive
like the rain lilies
that bloom post monsoon.




**Posted at Imaginary Garden With Real Toads' Open Link Monday.

23 comments:

dsnake1 said...

i see you have a cheery start to Napowrimo. :)

John said...

Awesome start! Love your spacing.

Fred Rutherford said...

Raven, great first write for poetry month. Really like the way you captured the wasp's flight. Both in description and in the way you structured the placement of the words. Very nicely done. Thanks

Jannie Funster said...

I can feel its joy that spring has sprung and he's filling his winter larder already.

xo

Brian Miller said...

nice..i like the ref to the lilies after the monsoon there at the end as i think it is a great wrap...and spring, its beautiful aint it...back to life...again...

Ravenblack said...

dsnake, John, Fred, Jannie and Brian: Thanks for the comments and visit. :)

Happy Spring to you all.

vivinfrance said...

I really enjoyed your Springtime idyll. It had a bit of a haiku feel to it.

Semaphore said...

One of the best parts, for me, was when "concrete" poetry took over, the words buzzing around the haloed flowerbed like the hovering of your insects. A wonderful start to the month!

Mary said...

I can picture this through your well chosen words. As someone else mentioned, I like the spacing too. Happy spring.

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh, I was about to dance with it too!
This is lovely! Such a good capture of some of the joys of spring.

Ravenblack said...

Vivinfrance, Semaphore, Mary and Daydreamer: thanks for the comments and feedback.

Much appreciated your joyful reactions. :)

chromapoesy.com said...

This one is alive, great write! So happy to see you're participating in NaMoWriMo too!

Laurie Kolp said...

Ahh... I especially enjoyed the first two stanzas.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

So beautiful. I could see "the dance". Uplifting, on this gray rainy day.

Kim Nelson said...

As a resident of the Sonora Desert, I relate to the scenes painted here. Monsoon... rain lilies... the changing weather on a hot day... all familiar to me.

Heaven said...

I like the arrangement of the words...I feel the dancing and zipping thru the blooms ~

Anonymous said...

Love the spacing, the round and round expression.

rosemarymint.wordpress.com

kulasa said...

I could feel the motions while reading the words here, almost like I were the creature facing an open flower...

Other Mary said...

Your lovely words dance on the screen!

Ravenblack said...

Thanks for the visit and comments, kulasa and Mary.

Herotomost said...

I love that last stanza...pretty amazing visual....this one took me around...and around, around...great writing.

Jannie Funster said...

That's exactly how I feel today!!

This is my fave of yours. Well, one of my faves, as you write so well.

xo

Ravenblack said...

Thanks Jannie. That means a lot. :)