Canopy
sunlight tripping
in and out
above
and through the leaves
the branches of
sea almond trees
spread green,
green, green,
amber,
yellow ,
red;
filters the collected
light
.
up
Faces smiling
at the sun,
breathing in the breeze.
****
Posted at dVerse Poetics: Sculpting a Poem. I think what they meant to look for poems inspired by sculptures. I sort of misread it, I was kinda sculpting a picture out of words. No great harm I guess.
18 comments:
actually you are fine...she did say you could use a shape or ...it works...smiles...lovely imagery...the light filtering through...of course i am a sucker for nature as well...
I think this is exactly what Victoria meant, sculptured, multilayered, using a poet's tool. A very lovely poem.
Brian: thanks! :D
Oceangirl: thank you. :)
I'll never get tired of trees either...this felt so light and just made me feel good in reading it...lovely.
Oh I am a tree hugging hippie so this poem is a favourite... I love the style and feel...it's like you sprinkled your words like sunlight through the trees.
Beautiful...it is a coincidence we are using the same theme.
just yesterday i stood under a birch tree and was just fascinated again by the beauty they breathe...well captured..
No harm, certainly! I've been trying to do this for years! Absolutely love it.
I like what you did, good poem! Not only did the words capture the image you were creating and flow well together, the visual placement reinforced the theme.
This is wonderful, both for it's sculpting and for its imagery. A really fabulous write on all counts :)
Beautiful! I like the placements of words in your poem. It conveys the idea well of being beneath a tree and looking up!
using nature as a metaphor always works for me..this is lovely image ~
great to see you writing again ~
I think you have sculpted an exquisite piece of art through your poetry!
Very fluid and a perfect 'tree sculpture' in words--all trees are a sculpture to the right eye, I think. Liked this much.
Great take on the prompt. I felt like I was peeking through the branches of a tree. Lovely.
Oh me neither, I love the trees and all the offer. Canopy is a great word to use here. really like the pattern you sculpted here, then the one line that gets me the most here is the faces smiling, as it offers an emotion showing within the description itself. Really nice job Raven, thanks.
Thanks everyone for the wonderful comments and feedback. Really appreciate it. :)
A tribute after my own heart!!!!!
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