Friday, July 15, 2011

For once, take the stairs instead

 --

When the escalator is about to break down

At first it's just little shakes
at unpredictable intervals
like someone with Alzheimer's
who keeps forgetting
who he is, what he's doing
and what you are doing
being here with him,
depending on him to take you up

or down;

it brakes with no warning
then turns around, goes
the other way,

and you don't

(won't)

see it coming, the jerk
that will send you tumbling down
its conveyer herd of metal teeth
that comes out row after row --

you'll be ripped to shreds.


***
(Inspired by HVP's photo "Under Construction")


Submitted for Thursday Poets Rally Week 48

17 comments:

Fred said...

Really enjoyed this from two perspectives. First I think you did a great job narrating and capturing a situation that most people have experienced before, but with fresh and novel interpretation. The second is the overall metaphor that permeates the entire piece. Excellent job here:)

Ravenblack said...

Thanks Fred. Really appreciate your comments on this piece as I wasn't sure if I got it across.

a-soaking-event-2 said...

Very interesting correlation of the failing escaltor and the failing mind. Very well done!

Jingle said...

very apt and stirring words, love it.
Happy Rally.

Ravenblack said...

Thanks for your comments, Charles and Jingle. :)

mindlovemisery said...

I really loved this analogy, gut-wrenching, tragic love it

Ravenblack said...

Thanks mindlovemisery. :)

wherepleasantfountainslie said...

Wow, very intense. I love this.

alivealwayz said...

you prove your point, I'm taking the stairs next time, nice imagination especially in the beginning when you think of it as a person.

thepoetsquill said...

I felt a home here. My wife has been telling me the escalator to my top floor hasn't been working for years.

Ravenblack said...

wherepleasantfountainslie: thanks!

alivealwayz: :D thank you. :)

thepoetsquill: they are safer no working at all than if they working half the time. Thanks for visiting. :)

dsnake1 said...

i am taking the stairs next time. :)

good analogy with life. unpredictable, & taken apart if not careful. :)

cindyeksuzian said...

I do so like this poem of yours. It evokes the metaphor of life changes that hit you square, unaware, and then, you are mad at yourself because you weren't watching when it came (this happened to me)!! :-)! in your words, "You'll be ripped to shreds.." A very realistic and engaging read! Thanks for sharing it!

Ravenblack said...

dsnake: thanks! Take the stairs, it's good exercise anyway.

Cindy: glad you like it. :)

normamartiri said...

Very clever. I also enjoyed the two perspectives. Great images and descriptions "its conveyer herd of metal teeth, that comes out row after row" :)

inaweblogisback said...

Spooky! I loved it.

Ravenblack said...

normamartiri: Thanks for your comment.

inaweblogisback: I've always been wary of escalators. Thanks for dropping by. :)